The breath test: a line you can't say in one comfortable breath was written for the eye, not the ear. Cycle the lines, watch the meter, and see the punchy trim.
one breathgetting longbreathless
Words
0
Clauses
0
Breaths needed
0
Say it for the ear
Rule of thumb: over ~18 words or more than two clauses and most people run out of air. Two short punches beat one long tangle.